Sweet Dreams
by mende5525
Summary: Each night she dreams of him. Each night becomes worse and worse. Each day her sense of reality is slipping away from her and she knows she has to find him before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Was daydreaming while listening to "Sweet Dreams" sung by Emily Browning from the Sucker Punch soundtrack and came up with this concept for Raven and Slade. Since there are so many stories revolving around Raven still having dreams about Slade because of their bond I can't think of a better song that goes with this twisted couple! So enjoy and review.

* * *

**Sweet Dreams**

It happened the same way each night.

Different settings, different demons, different time zones, but it always happened. He was always there waiting and planning.

Each time was different, sometimes it was physical, sometimes it was emotional, sometimes he just watched her in silence with a menacing and curious eye. But he always enjoyed it.

And unfortunately for Raven… each time was **very** different, but always shameful.

In a dream nothing is in your control. You can try to fight and even when you realize it isn't real, you still cannot help what it is you feel or say. At least that's what she told herself.

In a dream she would tell him she wanted him there, she would tell him she wanted to murder him. She would have sex with him, she would fight and shed blood with him. She'd let him talk down to her and pick her apart, she'd let him torture and rape her until she'd awake screaming.

No matter the acts of sinful pleasure or just plain torture, she always woke up the same.

Tears and sweat all mixed together in a sticky bath that would cause her to shiver and shake, teeth chattering and chest falling and rising too fast.

Some nights the pain and fear would be so great she'd wake up screaming so high her voice would strain. Other nights the pleasure and excitement of it all would wake her up with hips bucking in an intense orgasm she could never contain.

Slade was turning her violent, depressed, lustful, and weak all at the same time. He was getting to her in each and every way. He was turning her into everything she strongly opposed and fought against in her demon _and _human blood.

Her pacifism and control was slipping away and it was beginning to show.

Items in her room would melt and decay as she dreamt. She was restless and irritable each morning and fought even harder than before to keep her emotions and powers in check.

Her teammates could sense it. Her demeanor had become colder and more distant. She refused to tell them the nightmares she was having. It disgusted and shamed her to the point of physical illness. Mornings were spent vomiting over the toilet and curling up on the tile floor waiting for relief.

She was sick and infected by a man she could not, nor ever wanted to, face. If she ever did it would end one of two ways. Either he'd torture and use her for as long as he wanted or she would kill him.

She would never be a slave to him or allow herself to kill him, no matter how much she wanted to or felt he deserved it.

But her mind was slowly losing its sense of reality and sanity. It was rapidly growing out of control to the point where she could no longer deny that something had to be done.

She finally decided she would find him, find a way to make it stop, there had to be a way they could end it all. She could not say for certain that he had full control of himself when entering her mind, but from the look in his lone eye it sure seemed that way. She had to fight against him and his sick obsession with her vulnerabilities.

But for the sake of her own morals and soul-self, she would approach him powerless... unable to fully defend herself if it came to a life and death situation.

She was naturally trained in hand to hand combat as was expected of her being a part of the Titans, but she nowhere near the skills of Robin ( and even he couldn't beat Slade) she didn't have natural alien strength like Starfire, no Cybernetic body parts or the ability to turn into some great and mighty animal.

When she would face him, she'd be an average every day human, with less than average strength and less than average fighting skills.

Ever since the demise of her father the bond between her and Slade was stronger than ever, she would be able to sense him better than any soul in the city.

"We'll miss you while you're away."

Raven blinked herself back into the present. _Focus._

"I'll only be away a few days," she said barely looking at Robin.

She had made up an elaborate lie to coincide with her lack of control. There was no way of hiding it from Robin, making it part of the lie would make it that much easier to be away.

"I'm hoping the islands will help me better meditate and reopen my chakras, my human body Is nearly done growing, so my powers can only grow so much more. Hopefully by the time I'm back I'll have better stability"

It wasn't fully a lie. Her powers did change with her body. She was nearly 21 and her body was setting into its adult form and her powers had taken on a new form, but it wasn't something that she couldn't handle.

Meditative islands would only help to a point, but it was the only excuse she could create without Robin asking any questions.

She picked up her suitcase and took in a shaky breath as her stomach ached and quivered. She was actually going to do this… She was actually going to face Slade by herself.

"Well good luck on your trip, you let us know if there's any trouble," said Robin placing a hand on her shoulder. Even with her leader touching her, she felt like he was thousands of miles away, this may be the last time she ever saw him again…ever saw any of the Titans again.

"Robin," she called out just as he was leaving.

He turned to her curiously as she stood there dumbly trying to find something worthwhile to say.

She swallowed thickly and choked out, "I'll miss you all… take care of yourselves." Before Robin got a chance to react Raven phased out of the tower and into the city.

* * *

Raven floated aimlessly over the city. It was a large place filled with too many souls. They all got too scrambled and meshed together. She needed complete silence and focus.

She knew he was going to be hiding from her. She knew he was going to mentally and emotionally block himself off from any possibility of detection. It would have to be in their sleep, in their dreams, that's where all his sense of control would be unhinged. She would be able to teleport herself to wherever he was.

It was going to take the most difficult form of meditation for her to be able to do this. Sleep meditation.

Conscious control of the dream state.

It was so difficult because it required complete control of the body, being able to stay awake while being able to enter REM sleep and in control of your dreams. Even if you can enter your dreams consciously you had to be able to maintain your sense of reality.

She had no idea if she'd be able to do it in one night, so she put on disguise and rented a room in a cheap seedy hotel.

The man at the front desk barely glanced at her as she entered her dirty room and started floating over her bed in a lotus position.

She looked at the clock beside the bed, 12:00 midnight. It was time.

* * *

_Sweet dreams are made of this_

_Who am I to disagree?_

Where was the music coming from? A soft high voice, almost childlike singing like a lullaby.

_Focus! All a dream… not real_

Raven had to throttle herself to stay alert and aware. She had done it, she had slipped into the dream world and was still conscious. She had to be careful though. One distraction or blink of the eye and she could fall right into an unconscious sate and become enslaved in the nightly ritual that took place between her and Slade.

_Travel the world and the seven seas_

_Everybody's looking for something_

She was in her room, only it was backwards, like looking into mirror, it was all on the wrong side. She felt a pull towards the door.

_Stay in control. Don't let it lead you._

She moved her legs forward with great concentration. Her dream was trying to lead her towards him. She had to make sure it didn't force her into its will.

The hallways were flexing in and out, she walked with more caution towards the living room, her friends were there, or the allusion of her friends.

_Not real, you're alone._

They were all sat on the couch, backs to her, not looking at her. The TV was nothing but static. The damn music kept playing.

_Some of them want to use you_

"Hey Raven," said the dream Robin still not facing her.

"What's up Raven," said Cyborg in a flat voice.

_Some of them want to get used by you_

"Raven, our dear friend," Strafire muttered.

"You're going to love this joke," Beastboy added emotionlessly.

A smell came from the kitchen making her gag. _What is that smell?_

_Some of them want to abuse you_

Raven looked into the kitchen and saw dishes overflowing in the sink. Mold and rot was growing around it. _The dishes! I forgot to do the dishes! It was my turn!_

Raven nearly ran towards it before catching herself again. She was starting to lose consciousness _No! Not real! Not real!_

_Some of them want to be abused_

The water from the tap suddenly started to run, it quickly overflowed onto the floor and at her feet. Raven wanted to throw up at the smell that surrounded itself at her feet. She nearly screamed when she realized it wasn't water at her feet…it was blood.

"Raven, it's ok," Robin was suddenly in front of her putting a hand on her shoulder. "None of its real remember?"

His mask suddenly changed, it was a different one, one she could recognize.

Fear immediately settled into her. She looked away from the mask. He was coming. The pool of blood below her started rising higher. She felt something swim between her legs, she looked down and saw the shadow of a snake. It rubbed its head against the inside of her thigh.

Raven shuttered and went dizzy for a second.

_Stay awake, don't do this, don't be weak._

"Don't be weak Raven," his voice boomed in her head. "You're always so weak for me, this time try to have a little fight. Have a little dignity." She felt his thumb rub her cheek gently.

Raven's eyes scrunched shut in intense pain. Her flesh was opening up in fiery seething pain, the blood water was seeping into the wounds. The symbols of her birth, of her father, the same demonic symbols Slade had painted her in the day he came back from the dead.

Raven felt her clothes begin to burn away. She looked back up to the lone eyed mask. It seemed to be smiling at her. Slade's large hand was crushing her arm.

"Have a little pride Raven." He grabbed a fist full of hair and jerked her head back violently. Raven gasped in fear. "Fight me Raven, you know you want to."

This was it, this was her only chance. As the last of her clothes melted away and the blood rose to her neck Raven grabbed onto his arm and focused her power. "Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…"

* * *

Her body was moving, moving too fast. Raven braced herself as she connected with hard marble. She coughed as her ribs and stomach dealt most of the blow.

"Fuck," she whispered to herself slowly getting up.

There was a glow of a fire. She looked over her shoulder to see a grand fireplace. The walls and floors were all marble. There were antique fixtures and furniture. She looked up to see gothic vaulted ceilings. The fire was the only light in the entire place.

She was in the middle of a den. She looked in front of her and could only see darkness. Whatever was in front of her was asleep… and angry.

Raven breathed heavily, sweat was pickling down her back. Her throat hurt as she swallowed thickly.

She had to deactivate her powers before he awoke. Her fear was so great her energy had escaped her and started to levitate the furniture off the ground.

"Do it, do it now," she whispered to herself. She could feel him stirring and preparing to awake.

Raven reached inside her cloak and unhooked a special chakra she had clipped inside. She exhaled slowly and listened as the furniture clicked back on the floor. She emptied out her emotion and became numb.

With great force she ripped out her chakra and replaced it with the newer more powerful one. She was free to feel, but her powers were now locked away in the gem itself. If Slade so much as decided to strike a blow to her forehead he could easily shatter it and destroy her powers all together.

With the new chakra set in her skin, Raven put aside her old one and wiped the blood away from having ripped in out. Some of it had trickled down her face and onto the floor. Raven almost bent down to clean it up for lack of feeling utterly defenseless and vulnerable as Slade finally rose from his sleep and stared her down from his bed.

His appearance didn't startle her, she had seen glimpses of his face before in her dreams, what startled her was how real he actually was. She was truly in his presence, and now she was wishing this all really was a dream.

They both stood in silence for a while until Slade stood up and casually approached her. It was hard to pin point what he was feeling.

There was anger mostly, restlessness, surprise, amusement.

He stood about three feet from her before scoffing and saying, "I was just dreaming about you."

Her body went cold and she looked away from him in embarrassment. He didn't have a shirt on and even with sleeping pants on, it was hard not to imagine his naked form when it had been on top of her so many times.

"Sorry to interrupt, but you and I have to talk," she demanded.

He smirked and brushed past her to sit in one of the chairs of his den. She shivered as his arm slid across hers, she felt as though she could faint. "You're hardly in a position to give orders when you're powerless. Don't think I didn't notice."

Raven's forehead was still throbbing in pain, she was sure her face was smeared in blood, her new chakra was black. He didn't need to look at her twice to figure out what she had done to herself.

She turned to him with tears brimming her eyes. Being able to feel was making her sensitive and overwhelmed, her body was having trouble processing it all. "You know why I'm here Slade. You know what you've been doing to me each and every night."

He glared at her menacingly. "You should get out now before I decide to kill you." His fist rolled up into a tight ball, the veins in his arms rose and his muscles bulged. Raven could sense resistance, she didn't need her powers to know his every emotion, being so close to him made her perfectly in tuned with him.

Curse her father for bonding her to a heartless man, he could feel her too and he was going to dismiss her or kill her for it.

She could not give up though. She had to try, even if it did mean her life.

"You cannot deny me at least a minute Slade." It felt strange saying his name, too familiar. "Please give me a chance to talk to you, I am coming to you powerless and alone."

She hated having to beg, she felt revile from him as she did. He was looking at her like a pathetic revolting mess.

He looked away from her and into the fire, he was contemplating, weighing his options. She was beyond grateful that he was at least thinking it over… until he spoke again.

"Take off your clothes."

Her eyes snapped wide open at his request. Unwilling to move she waited for him to take back his words. He was serious.

"Why?" she asked feeling as though her body were turning to stone.

He folded his hands patiently. "I need to make sure you don't have any hidden wires or weapons You can keep the bra and underwear on, not like you'd be able to hide anything efficient in those."

She sensed no deception, it wasn't like he was going to try and rape her, yet that didn't make her feel any more comfortable about taking off her clothes, then again he might cast her out if she didn't do as asked.

Slade sighed getting impatient. "Just making sure a group of Titans isn't about to burst into my home," he said with hatred in his voice.

"They don't even know I'm here," she snapped.

"Then you should have no problem doing what I asked," he added sitting back into his chair waiting.

Her skin started to burn and she started fumbling at her clothes as though she had never taken them off before. She paused uncomfortably.

"It's not like I haven't seen it before," he chimed in still staring at her.

She glanced away from his gaze feeling embarrassed, she felt the same emotion coming off him too. With a roll of her eyes and a tug of her leotard and cloak she was in her bra and panties within a few seconds. She unsnapped her belt and removed her shoes as well, feeling goose bumps dance along her body as her feet connected with the cold marble floor.

She stood frigidly in front of Slade waiting for him to judge. He barely looked at her before pointing at her uniform. "Put your clothes in that lead box by the fireplace, any signal or tracking device will be cut off."

She felt even more annoyed as she threw her clothes into the box and felt a sense of doom when it clicked shut. Finally they could talk.

She wasn't sure if she should continue standing or sit in the chair across from him. She opted for sitting down since a mahogany coffee table stood between them. If he did decide to attack her she would at least have some distance and a little bit of a barrier.

Raven sat down awkwardly being fully self-conscious of her figure. The lacy black underwear was mostly Starfire's fault, every time Raven went out for essentials Starfire always tagged along and convinced her to buy slightly girly things.

Her body was toned in all the right places, she had plenty of muscle but was still round and curvy around her breasts and hips. Because of her healing abilities her skin was flawless, almost no scaring of blemishes.

"You certainly have grown over the years," Slade said nonchalantly getting more comfortable.

Raven only looked away and into the burning yellow and orange of the fire. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself.

"Still you remind me so much of a child," he said in a disturbed voice.

She closed her eyes shuttering and fiddling her fingers together. She sighed before replying, "So how can you do the things you do to me in our dreams?"

Slade sneered at her and became even more enraged. "You honestly believe I have any more control than you in a subconscious world."

His tone was condescending and honest. Perhaps he wasn't so evil. "I can only read emotions, not minds. When we're dreaming things become blurred and I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I'm not sure how much power you hold in your sleep or how much you might actually like… what happens."

He shrugged and stated, "It's not all horrible, and there have been nights where we've both been satisfied."

He was trying to push her buttons, this he was enjoying. The thrill of making her uncomfortable and shameful.

"What is it that you get out of this? You said yourself you have no control over this, you're letting yourself be used," she was becoming more settled as the conversation began going in a direction she could work in.

Slade only smirked devilishly. "Perhaps I like it. Perhaps I like the added benefit of using you and doing what I consciously and subconsciously want to do. You like it as well, that's what terrifies you the most Raven. That the very man you hate can make you feel so good and hurt you without any control or power to stop it."

This part was truthful and deceiving at the same time. He didn't want to keep dreaming of her, but the fact that it got to her so much almost made it worth the annoyance. Raven felt solid determination; she was going to break through his stubbornness if it took all night. "I won't let you poison me Slade. You mean nothing to me of how I truly feel or am," she seethed at him. "This is all just shit demon magic my father cursed us with."

He scooted forward in his chair meeting her steely gaze. "If that were so true you wouldn't be here my little bird." His words slid off his tongue which immediately made her blood boil in an almost sensual way. "Your will is slipping from your fingers, your dreams are becoming more and more real for you."

"As our yours," she added. "I know' you are capable of many great things. But do you truly wish to torture and rape me?" she asked pleadingly. "Isn't it enough already?"

The surreal memories and experiences between them during her time of demise for her father had already crossed the line in so many ways from both of them. Yet neither one of them had been able to escape it. Raven would've died one way or another, and Slade would've lived again, even if it meant being a servant.

Slade was replaying all this in his mind and sighed tiredly looking at her with weary features.

"When it come to you my dear, it's never enough." Her gripped the arm rest of his chair and looked at the fire resentfully. "The bond created by your father will never die, not even in death or rebirth. Like it or not, you're stuck with me for the rest of your existence."

That was the hardest part for Raven to accept, that no matter where she went or did, he would always be attached to her. Devil bonds are never relinquished unless the devil decides so. Her father was long gone, they had no choice but to deal with each other in whatever way their bodies and souls could mange.

Dreams were the easiest outlet, but with the intensity of hatred and violence between them, the dreams could go from bad to hellish. The only way to make it better was to not hate him, and for him to not hate her.

Raven began to shake violently. She wanted nothing more than to hate him forever, but it would cause her to give into her dark side, it would cause her to kill him and even then she knew the dreams and loss of stability would only continue. "Azar… we're damaged for eternity."

Slade watched her curiously; it was interesting to see her uninhibited by her powers and how much she could take of pure raw emotion. "Yes we are," he agreed flatly. "Find a way to get use to it, 'cause things can only get worse from here."

She could tell that thought worried him worse of all. Yes he wanted her gone, he even wanted to hurt her a little. But he did still see her as a child, even with her womanly body, and he was not a man of torture and rape. He did things for a purpose, an agenda. He got straight to the point of trying to get rid of his enemies in a smart calculating way.

Drawing out a victims end through rape and torture was in his mind spineless, juvenile, pointless, and even sickly.

Raven sensed his distress. She looked up at him hopefully, fully catching his attention. "I can make it better."

Resistance, he didn't want her help. He despised her and felt it insulting that she even had an idea "What exactly do you suggest? Never sleeping again, you would go mad for sure."

Cynical and sarcastic. She sneered at him impatiently. "Not exactly," she spat out becoming serious. "I need to perform a sort of exorcism on you."

She would have to rearrange his memories and emotions of her. Make it so he didn't feel his evil desires for her so strongly. She would have to pull at his caring and merciful side. She would have to make it so he considered her someone he would never want to harm or touch. He really would see her as a child, possibly as a daughter or loved one.

He rose from his chair ready to end the conversation. "I'm not letting you touch my brain." The thought of her going inside his mind was beyond disturbing to him. She already had too much of him, he wasn't about to give her more, especially if it meant feeling something similar to love for her.

Raven didn't budge. If anything she became completely fearless of him and regained her confidence. She was going to make this happen with or without his consent. It was a line she was now willing to cross. Raping his mind was better than him raping her in their dreams as far as she was now concerned.

"I will not have you torture me any longer. I propose you let me do this to you willingly and without fight. Or else believe me… it will hurt and pain you more than anything you could ever imagine." Slade looked in her eyes and almost stepped back. She wasn't bluffing. She would force her way into his mind once she got the chance and it would be the worst experience of his life. She would literally mind-fuck him.

She sat back in her chair coolly and crossed her legs. Had she not been threatening him right now, he would be filled with intense lust. She was in complete control here, she was confident and sexy. He could easily kill her right now, wrap his hands around her neck and finish her, but there was something holding him back.

Even though he didn't want her picking at his brain and distorting his emotions, he also didn't want the dreams to continue and having her completely gone and unable to do anything about it.

He was fighting inside himself, and looked back at Raven angrily, she was the solution. They both knew it and either he consented or not.

She drummed her fingers on the armrest rhythmically. "I'm not going to live like this Slade, and I won't let you become any worse than you are now."

"You care for me, how very sweet," he spat sarcastically.

She shrugged a shoulder and let out a breath of a laugh. As sick as it was, she would care for him after the exorcism; she would have to make it so she cared for his well-being also. Have concern for a man she once hated? So be it.

"You said so yourself, our dreams are becoming more and more real, and things will only get worse. Soon enough you will try to do all of those things to me. And it will continue on until you finally kill me. Then what? You go on becoming more and more mad until we meet in death?" She looked up at him knowingly. Her eyes seemed glossy, her cheeks had tint of red in them, she was becoming passionate and solid in her decision.

"Is that really how far you want to go? Look inside of yourself, I know you're not a rapist or a torturer. You're not that demented."

He rolled up his fist, wanting so badly to be rid of her. "You have no idea how evil I can be Raven."

She nodded amused. "Yes I do. I'm bonded to you remember. I know that you feel disgust the same way I do. I know you're ashamed of liking it, I know you're maddened at the thought of being forever chained to me. But if it's going to be like this, I can make it better. I can make it so it never has to go that far and we can be normal again."

"Normal?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Figuratively speaking," she chuckled sadly.

She was going to be part of him forever anyway. They could either be disturbingly cruel to each other, or disturbingly nice to each other. It would have to be one of two evils. "I'll consider it," he finally answered in compromise.

He realized Raven was no longer looking at him and was sitting in his chair deep in thought. When she finally spoke again, it was the eeriest thing he had ever heard.

"You know I often wonder why it is we dream… and the conclusion I came to is… it's the way our minds rid us of the filth we consume. But me and you, we will drown and burn for eternity in our sins. We will never be clean."

She finally looked back at him with crazed and mad eyes. This time he did take a step away from her.

"I just hope your burning is the worst of all. You deserve the lowest pit hell has to offer."

With that said Raven stood up, collected her clothes and walked out of his home. She would be waiting for him. He knew he had to respond soon, or she would come after him.

Slade leaned all his body weight against the palms of his hands and stood over the fire place. He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes and whispered. "It's just a dream, just a dream."

When he reopened his eyes he regretfully found everything the same.

* * *

A/N: There will be another part to this story coming soon, I may add a dream sequence with some mature themes, but haven't decided yet. Review kindly!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Some parts of this story is from the very first fan fic I ever wrote on Raven and Slade, I had taken it down years ago for lack of coming up with the sequel and the incredible amount of errors. Hopefully this does it some justice. Enjoy!

* * *

It was hard to remember exactly how it happened. It was hard to remember if he had actually agreed to it, it was hard to remember if there was any pain or pleasure, but it was hardest to remember ever truly hating her.

But that was the trick, wasn't it? That was the big joke.

He had once hated her and done horrible things to her in her dreams and now he could barely stand the thought of ever once causing her any pain.

He hated not being able to hate her.

It was unbearable feeling this intensely about her safety. Every time there was chaos and crime going on in the city he checked his hidden cameras to make sure she wasn't hurt or worse… killed.

The main emotion she had ballooned was empathy. Knowing her history and trials made him feel sorry for her in a truly sympathetic way. He wanted to make it all correct. Make it so she never had to go through any of it.

Not every day was so worrisome. Some days he could muster up a small amount of anger and resentment for her. Some nights the dreams would turn into a nightmare, similar to what they use to be. However all negative emotion and thought was becoming more and more rare.

The dreams that were sexual and tender felt good and wrong to him in different way. He cared for her in a way that could be described as a fatherly way most nights, very rarely he actually viewed her as a woman and felt ok about it.

Before the dreams would always benefit him, he was the one who had the most power. He was the one who always came out on top.

Now the dreams had him at his knees. He would see her crying or shaking in terror, she would call out to him for comfort and he would always placate her.

He would always be gentle with her in their physical acts, he would always make sure she was ok first with anything that happened. He was glad the dreams provided an outlet for his feelings rather than going after her and actually doing it all. He was still a villain, he still had a reputation.

No matter how strong or intensely his feelings grew for her, he still cared more about his life of crime. That he would never give up for her, it was ingrained in him. It was his identity, as was hers in being a Titan.

They never had to worry about running off together and finding peace. They would both always be hungry and wanting. They would both be lonely and unfulfilled.

It ached and drove him crazy, but it was a good alternative. To want what he could never have.

Before all this Slade had never taken special interest in the dark Titan, she was powerful no doubt, but unstable and constantly fighting for control. She didn't seem much more than a burden on the Titans. He found out enough from Terra what her weaknesses were and it was all the information he cared to know about her. She was just there like the others, nothing special or worth troubling himself over.

Little had he known the truth behind it all, the Titans were protecting a demon, a doorway to countless evils. He was allowed permission to bring forth the evil inside of her and it not only fascinated him… it confused him.

Normally knowing everything about a target never bothered him. If anything it gave him an advantage because he could expose their weaknesses and take control. But dealing with half demons that lived a life of pacifism in another dimension was new to him. It wasn't just that she was capable of evil-everyone was capable of that- it was that she was **meant** for evil.

Somehow she broke the rules and dared to be something more than her birthright. In a way Slade respected her strength but was unsettled by it because as he had said before, it would be easier to give in. She had a will he couldn't break because she was still acting all goody two shoes-as far as demons go- and still had control of her darkness because she had allowed him mercy. Even most heroes didn't do that.

Perhaps in the end it would've been better if he had stayed dead. He would've gone and left the earth with a vague and meaningless memory of her, it would've been so simple.

Reminiscing had made him remember the very last dream he had with Raven before she had manipulated his brain. It had been so real, almost like they hadn't been dreaming, like they both had complete control over what they were doing and for once had been completely honest with each other.

* * *

She was alone in a theater, one of those old grand Hollywood types of theaters.

A movie was playing, her movie, the movie of the Titans and how they became what they were now.

Raven shook her head in amusement and fondness as she watched the memory play out before her. No one would've guessed that it had actually been Beast boy's idea to be a team, to all move in together and fight evil together. He had served on a team before and knew the benefits to being on one, he had intentionally wanted to go solo and see if that worked out for him, but something about that first night with them all acting as a team… just worked.

At first Raven had been unsure to the point of saying no because the experience of having friends was still foreign to her and she was scared of screwing it up and unintentionally hurting them. But at the same time the feelings she was fed from them was too addicting to say no, she wanted to risk the chance, a chance for companionship.

Robin of course had been the hardest to convince sine he had been determined on going solo after his breakaway from being a sidekick. He agreed that they all worked well together, but he didn't see it being a permanent thing.

Beast boy however had thought about this and asked him on his thoughts of being a leader. They had all agreed he was the most qualified and Robin seemed to entertain the thought enough to give it a try. It only took a few nights of crime fighting and he never questioned the concept of being on a team again.

Cyborg like Raven had also been hesitant but gave in sooner than her, feeling comfortable among the misfits where he served a purpose with his robotic parts. The more and more he was around them the more they really got to know him and his great sense of humor, loyalty and intelligence.

Starfire naturally agreed right away, she befriended the earthlings after they helped saving her, she knew without a doubt in her heart that she wanted to be on their team. She would love them unconditionally and fight beside them without hesitation.

Raven smiled contently. She would never tell Beast boy how much of a genius he was for coming up with the idea. It had probably been the best one ever conceived by any of them because it made them who they were.

**The Teen Titans**.

He probably had no idea how much she was thankful for it every day and how thankful she was that he called her and convinced them all to stay together, she had made more than just friends after that, she had made family, and right now she missed them.

"Going over some old memories?"

She knew sooner or later he was going to be back so she dealt with the feeling of invasion as she refused to look at him. "Yes actually, it's a rather personal thing, not that you care," she replied listlessly.

He was the part of her life that didn't belong, he threatened her family, he had once vowed to destroy them, so why did she feel the need to hang onto him in her life?

Slade could note the underlying enjoyment in her voice that he was back. _'Poor girl.' _He thought flattered. "Oh but Raven I know all about you anyway so I don't think it matters if I watch some home videos with you."

He made a move to sit next to her but she melted the screen with her powers and got up to leave already expecting him to follow.

In truth she rather liked the idea of company watching her memories with her; it was like letting go a piece of yourself, like telling a confession, a feeling of release. But she didn't want to give away anymore to Slade even though he already had all of her.

They were in nothing but black void and suddenly Raven felt tired and drained. She stopped walking and plopped down on the ground allowing herself to sulk. Slade stood looming over her not saying a word.

He chuckled as he looked down at the young woman sitting cross legged on nothingness. She seemed like a little girl again. He patted her head deciding he might as well treat her like one if that's how she wanted to act.

She slapped his hand away hitting her head more than his actual hand. "Don't touch me." The demand wasn't angry or hostel, she just seemed to say the words robotically.

Slade didn't know why this bothered him so much. He had to admit he preferred when she put up a fight, it made their time together much more thrilling.

Men were simple creatures, but women were unbelievably complicated. He understood Raven was drained by the situation but he had experienced first-hand how much of a fight she could put up when it came to the worst of situations. Maybe the real goal was she was trying to piss him off and confuse him, he wouldn't be surprised.

He decided to play the game back and started walking away. This seemed to immediately catch her attention. "Where are you going?" she asked trying to sound uninterested but failed miserably.

Slade glanced over his shoulder. "Well I can see this is going to a one person conversation so what's the point in staying with you."

Raven didn't know why that hurt her so much. She should be glad that he wanted to leave her alone. Raven had always liked being alone but up until now she had never felt lonely. It was just sad to know she had grown soft and yearned for the presence of anyone including Slade.

Raven began rocking back and forth trying to keep her temper even and not go and do something stupid, unfortunately she couldn't stand the thought of sitting here for hours in self loathing anymore. She needed to do something, she needed to feel and she needed to feel only one thing. **Hate**, and only hate towards him.

Raven shook her head and placed her head between the knees of her legs, she was tired of this.

She wasn't sure how long it had been raining on her, but she was soaked by the time her body could process it. She was still in a black void, the only light she could see was the occasional ripple of lightning followed by the sound of thunder.

Oh if only the Titans could see her now. Yearning for their most hated enemy and turning into a puddle because of his rejections.

Raindrops gathered on the strands of her hair and slid down and round her face. She let a few tears roll with the tiny droplets. She had hoped to start a life for herself and live without worrying about her father, live in peace with her family, and free of Slade. Now at 21 she was still running away from her demons.

She hiccupped and began to cry harder.

"Get up Raven." She didn't move, she simply ignored the voice and kept her head buried. "You're being pathetic."

She didn't care she didn't need to prove anything to him. She sighed out a shaky breath and closed herself off again; it was getting cold.

"Oh stop." Raven felt soft silken sheets under her and the smell of lavender. She looked up and recognized the settings of her room. Slade was standing up against a wall with his hands across his chest. "I know you're stronger than this, so don't act like a child."

Raven glared at him before flipping over with her back facing him. She barely got comfortable when she felt the bed dip behind her. She knew he was in the bed next to her but she refused to acknowledge him.

Raven wasn't sure why but for some reason she actually felt comfortable with him like this. She knew at any moment he could turn on her like he did before, but she was completely at ease. She didn't like knowing she could be comfortable around him without the lust or violence.

She looked over her shoulder and gazed at him curiously.

He had his arms resting behind his head, he was staring at the wall. When he realized she was staring at him he looked down at her with a cool collected smirk.

"Stop," she demanded.

Slade raised an eyebrow condescendingly. "Stop what Raven? I haven't done anything, _yet_." He shifted his head forward again and closed his eyes soundly. "Besides once I do start doing something again it will be on different terms and I doubt you'll be telling me to stop then."

Raven almost yelled at him for making such a vulgar comment when she realized what he had just promised. "So….you're not going to ...hurt me anymore?"

Slade smiled. "No, at least not tonight," he replied truly not feeling in the mood. It was almost as though they were coming towards the end of something. Maybe the violence was getting old or maybe he had no choice in the matter anyway, he wasn't sure.

"Perhaps I should give you a break, I have been pretty hard on you lately," he admitted feeling as though he was giving her permission for something, but for what? Why did he feel he knew something he couldn't recall?

Why did this seem familiar to her, why was she taking his word as a promise, as a form of consent towards something? Why was this night not its familiar way of fighting, sex, and tension?

"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked frustrated. "Why are you fucking with me?"

He glared at her annoyed. "Well if I can't fuck you the old fashion way I might as well do it other ways."

* * *

That had been his consent for her to consciously enter his mind and twist his emotions. She had shown up at his house without saying a word. He had been unconscious the entire time, had no memory of it, and when he awoke she was gone.

They were both in a new stage of their bond and it was making him more uncomfortable than before. He couldn't even imagine what she was going through, having to be around her friends and hide such an enormous secret. Perhaps she was use to it, perhaps it wasn't as bad as he imagined.

He had an urge to see her, mere curiosity to see how she was fairing with her own emotions towards him now that they were completely turned around.

It had after all been a while since he had visited Titans tower.

* * *

Raven lay on her bed with her knees to her chest. She didn't know what was happening to her and was desperately trying to make sense out of what had just happened.

She had entered another man's mind and pulled at his empathy, care, love and sympathy. Not only did it seem wrong but it felt more wrong when she found herself enjoying it. All this to prevent her from turning into the evil's she fought and she had just done the worse thing she was capable of.

She wasn't God, she wasn't Mother Nature. She had no right to force people's emotions into something she wanted, she had no right entering another's mind and changing it around.

She had already ruined herself and there was no taking it back.

The dreams now made her feel vulnerable to him a new way. She liked the way he cared for her. He was surprisingly kind and nurturing in a way that she hadn't foreseen.

She wasn't sure exactly how his new emotions were affecting him. Some nights he treated her as though she were his daughter, other nights she was his lover, some nights she was just his friend and they would do things like play chess or talk politics.

It was almost unfortunate Slade wasn't a naturally good person. She could only do so much, but at his core he was a criminal and a villain and selfish as ever. He wasn't going to suddenly change his ways, become one of the good guys and devote his life to her happiness just because she forced her way into his mind.

It wasn't going to be one of those stories where everyone got what they wanted and everything was settled and peaceful. They would always be at odds with each other, they would always be enemies, and as much as she wanted him she would always be a Titan. The love she felt for her family would always outweigh the love she felt for him. It was the motive for all of her sacrifices, to forever be with Titans.

Raven shook her head_. _She didn't want to think about this anymore. She just wanted…she wanted….she wanted Slade back.

The old Slade.

She had made herself love sick while stopping all her hate for him. "What have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

He knew she'd be waiting, he didn't know why or how, but sure enough she was on the roof of the tower alone and looking out at the waters as the sun was going down. The need to reach out to her was powerful but he didn't dare. He knew one day they would have to act on their desires.

He didn't know what exactly that entailed but for now they both had enough control to not do that. Whatever happened from this point out would always be a secret and would always be brief. At least now they could walk away from each other whenever they had to, not like before where they both would've likely killed each other driven by madness.

"You're leaving me," she said aloud as he approached her on the roof.

He stood next to her and replied, "Yes."

They stood in silence for a while before she asked, "How long?"

He shrugged his shoulders as the sun continued setting lower and lower. "Long enough to do some business and gain new ground, you kids aren't my biggest concern anymore; the Justice League seems more promising."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Done trying to recruit one of us as your apprentice?"

He rolled his eyes remembering once being so confident in that idea. "That's long gone now. Young minds are getting harder and harder to control now a days, you're all so messed up and overly rebellious to be guided by anyone."

Raven let out a short laugh and nodded thoughtfully. "Guess you never had a chance."

He glanced at her then back at the view. "No, guess I didn't."

They were quiet again, Raven sensed him getting ready to leave. Her heart started racing with panic, anything she wanted to get out she had to do now. She quickly blurted out, "I'm sorry."

He didn't have ask what she was referring to, he merely turned to her as her face went tight with regret and aching, again he wanted to reach out to her but he didn't and answered back with his own apology. "I am too, for everything." He started walking away until she called out to him again.

"How bad is it for you?"

He contemplated the answer before saying, "Obviously not as bad as it is for you."

She scoffed before looking down and letting a few tears fall. "Yeah," she whispered. She had remembered saying to him how she wished he would burn in the lowest pit of hell and here she was hurting more than him. She had cursed herself and had to deal with it as best she could as he left her alone to wallow.

Raven continued to cry as Slade finally approached her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She was surprised he was touching her so willingly when he had been fighting so hard not to. "Just remember that I will always be back, I will always be bonded to you. No matter how hard it gets or feels, I am still always yours and yours alone."

It was true weather she had still hated him or not, they did belong to each other. Perhaps they had always been meant for each other. Two damaged people thrown together by tragic coincidence.

He finally left her there alone and just like that they were back into their old lives with the thought of each other's well-being always looming over their heads.

As Raven headed back into the tower she saw all of her friends in the living room doing their usual routine. Beastboy and Cyborg engrossed in their video games, Starfire in the kitchen concocting another disgusting meal, and Robin going over schematics of the tower.

Seeing them like this made her feel at home, even if he was missing, even if she did miss him. Raven glided over to the window and watched as the stars started coming out.

She exhaled loudly and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

Beastboy looked up at her curiously from the couch and called out," Hey Raven, you feeling ok?"

Her other friends looked up concerned and waited for an answer. Raven inhaled deeply and muttered out, "Blurry."

They all looked at each other confused as she went towards her room and fell into her bed awaiting another dream, awaiting another night of him and their disaster of a world, awaiting another day of blurry reality and fantasy, another blurry day of what she really felt and what she created.

"It's all a dream, just a dream," Raven whispered as she closed her eyes.

* * *

A/N: The blurry reference is from the song "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd. I was listening to it as I finished this chapter and it seemed to fit the mood. I don't know if this is the end of the story or not so for now it remains unfinished. Review and be kind!


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